Trying to find the balance

By Wednesday of last week I had wound myself up so much about the reading I need to do over the next couple of weeks that I was little more than a ball of nerves. On Thursday I spoke to one of my lecturers about the reading list I was attempting and was told that I was being over ambitious and that I could cut my book list in half (a fact my mind refuses to accept).

As a result I changed tact and spent most of Friday watching films from the 50's trying to understand Europeans between 1890 and 1930 unfortunately, I found it was faster for me to read than to wait for films to unravel. I then took the weekend off to cool off a little and hopefully process some of what I've already read.

None of this has actually made me feel like I'm less behind schedule though. I feel like I'm constantly two steps behind everyone else. I still don't have a mark for my Latin assignment and will have to wait until this Thursday for it but I do feel slightly more confident about the work now.

I know that I should just relax but I am constantly concerned and apprehensive about the November Essays. I'm actually calmest when I manage to spend a few hours in the library working. As such that's the plan for this afternoon/evening.

Progress

I've handed in my dreaded Latin assignment. I wish marking was instant the wait for my results is driving me mad.

I've now got the framework for one of the three essays that I have to hand in next month so I'm much happier that the essay will eventually develop around the this plan. I hope to have similar plans for the other two essays by the end of the day tomorrow. I plan on staying in the library all day and not leaving until I'm happy that I at least know what I need to address before being able to address the essay.

Latin Assignment

I'm sitting at uni planning to hand in my Latin assignment in the next hour or two and I can't force myself to focus on it. Earlier I re-wrote the entire translation for the third time and I am so afraid that it will be rubbish that I can't make myself type it out and hand it in. I figure if I get my hands used to typing it will be easier to focus when I direct my attention back at the assignment and surely writing few lines will be more productive than playing games.

My concerns are:
That I've done as much as I can think of doing and it might still get a bad mark which will count towards my final mark.
I'm probably over prioritising it and wasting time that should be focused on essays that will be due in a few weeks but my mind is irrational. With the other essays I get so worried about what to quote from which author for my essays that it stunts my writing in those subjects to.